Word to the Wise
Sunday, December 30, 2007 - The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph
[Sirach 3:2-6; Colossians 3:12-21; Matthew 2:13-15, 19-23]God sets a father in honor over his children; a mother's authority he confirms over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and preserves himself from them. When he prays, he is heard; he stores up riches who reveres his mother......
I have noticed over the years that it is interesting to keep one eye on the congregation when reading the scripture from Sirach on this feast. There is a lot of discreet and not so discreet nudging, glances and suppressed giggles, especially from the younger members! Although the celebration of the feast of the Holy Family is no doubt meant to highlight the importance of the "family unit" as a fundamental element in Christian community, it is not clear which "model" is to be preferred! The Middle Eastern tribal/village model might not "work" in our mobile, individualistic American culture! We Americans lament what has happened to "the family" but we do it in terms of a nostalgic vision of TV programs such as LEAVE IT TO BEAVER or LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. Two experiences of my own, which have nothing to do with my own upbringing except to make me grateful for it, reimforce the importance of a stable and consistent family experience. The first concerns my experience as a formation director in my Dominican province. It was consistently true that a novice who came from a severely disfunctional family background would, in turn, find it difficult to integrate into the community lifestyle of the Dominican Order. The second concerns my continuing work as a "Defender of the Bond in Second Instance" for the Appellate Matrimonial Tribunal of the Dioceses of Texas. Case after case reveals that those who come from severely dysfunctional family situations are much more likely to continue the problems into marriage and be unable to maintain a marital commitment. Given the rampant divorce reality in our land, one can only wonder what the future of family life will be in America. My pastoral experience (as well as my own personal experience) teaches me that even the most stable and loving families have difficult challenges. No family is perfect (not even the Holy Family, as witnessed by the incident of Jesus being left behind and the subsequent search for him. "Son, why have you done this to us!"). Yet, in campus ministry I have consistently seen how well the students from stable families do with their various challenges both academic and personal. If the celebration of this feast of the Holy Family can highlight the importance of marriage and family, it is worth the effort, even if the current "model" is not what we remember from our own childhood! It all starts with God's love shared between man and woman and children. Remembering that foundation may go a long way toward building the rest. AMEN