Word to the Wise
Tuesday, January 8, 2008 - Christmas Weekday
[1 John 4:7-10 and Mark 6:45-52]God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him.......There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.
One of my "side" ministries is that I serve as a Defender of the Bond in Second Instance for the Appellate Matrimonial Tribunal for the dioceses (15) of Texas. This means that I must review cases that have been decided at the diocesan level and make a finding that they were (or not) decided according to proper procedure and jurisprudence. I don't make the decision whether or not to approve, but it is my job to make sure the decision on the local level meets the burden of proof and that the rights of all parties are respected! I read some awful things. Love and fear are equally binding forces in some relationships. This seems to be true in one's relationship with God. In confession I often hear people speak of their relationship to God in terms of fear rather than love. The scripture above is not speaking of an abstraction but of an experience. It is a sad thing when a person has to view God as a distant tyrant who is looking for any excuse to punish. It is a sad thing when a person is too afraid to give or receive love. Both love of God and love of neighbor spring from the same need. It can be "scary" to open oneself up in love to another - even to God. But real fear makes love seem like an enemy because of the demands that a true love relationship requires - namely that we consider someone else's welfare equal to or even more important than our own. St. Thomas Aquinas makes the love of friendship the model for love of God and neighbor because true friendship always seeks and desires the best for the friend. Anytime someone we regard as a friend is a source of fear to us, the relationship suffers accordingly. If we hold God or friend at "arm's length" we are manifesting a certain fear. It is true that the wrecked lives that I read about in the matrimonial annulment cases or hear about in confession may represent some extremes, but the great divorce rate in this country and the many lonely people I meet tell me that fear is fighting a strong battle against love. I pray that for each of you in the beloved congregation love is winning! AMEN .
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