Word to the Wise
Friday, May 23, 2008 - Friday in the Seventh Week of Ordinary Time
[James 5:9-12 and Mark 10:1-12]But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.
The gospels were written not just to report what Jesus did and said, but as instruments of preaching to guide the members of the community in their efforts to live according to those teachings. The question posed by the Pharisees reflects the Jewish view of marriage according to Deuteronomy 24:1-4 which permitted a husband to divorce a wife. Jesus responds by ranking Genesis above Deuteronomy - in short by saying that what Moses did was not what God originally intended, so Genesis states the nature and rule of marriage. It is something created by God and may not be "dissolved" by human laws and customs. However, by the time the gospel was put into writing, Greek and Roman customs of marriage were beginning to become popular and these customs allowed both spouses to initiate divorce. Hence the gospel makes it clear that the teaching applies to both husband and wife. What is most important here is the sacredness of marriage because it is something created by God. The loss of this sense of sacredness in marriage is truly one of the reasons for the appalling divorce rate in the United States and elsewhere. I have ample occasion to be involved in the preparation period for couples who invite me to preside at their wedding ceremony. I have sets of questions and topics that I ask them to discuss with each other and with me. I utilize the nationally known instrument called FOCCUS and discuss the results with them. I talk with them about their experience in the diocesan preparation programs (usually Engaged Encounter). I hope and pray that these efforts at least acquaint them with the sacredness of marriage and not simply with the challenges! I also have ample opportunity to be involved with marriages that have "ended" in divorce with a consequent request for an annulment on the part of one of the parties in which they claim their marriage was never a true marriage according to church teaching. Whether or not one considers the question of annulments to be a healthy pastoral teaching (for some see it as a direct contradiction to Jesus' teaching, while others see it as an act of compassion and others as a matter of church teaching), what concerns me in viewing the annulment cases that come to me is the lack of a sense of sacredness in marriage itself. I am a Defender of the Bond in Second Instance in Texas - which means all positive decisions on the diocesan level have to come through a review process that I am part of. Some of these cases indicate that the couple went through the whole preparation process provided by the church and one or the other will say that they really didn't pay much attention to it!!!!! The biggest thing however is the rarity of any sense that marriage itself is something sacred. The individual men and women seem to think that THEY are sacred, but the marriage was simply a "relationship" that went sour for whatever reason. Grace must build on nature. If the marital relationship is built on two human natures that have only a faint glimmering that this relationship is something created by God, there is little beyond convenience and mutual attraction to keep them together. A Catholic wedding with all the trimmings is no guarantee a marital relationship will endure. The couple themselves must have a mutual faith not only in each other but also in God as the initiator and sustainer of the marriage. This is the only guarantee possible. AMEN
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