Word to the Wise
Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - Wednesday in the Nineteenth Week of Ordinary Time
[Ezekiel 9:1-7; 10:18-22 and Matthew 18:15-20]If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the Church. If he refuses to listen even to the Church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or tax collector.
In these words from today's gospel scripture, we have Jesus' formula for conflict resolution! I've actually referred friends of mine to this scripture a number of times when they have asked my advice about how to deal with someone with whom they were at odds. There are plenty of self-help books on the subject as well. I remember one with the title, SINCE STRANGLING ISN'T AN OPTION. However, Jesus' advice really is the fundamental process. Most of the "interventions" that I have been a part of have pretty much followed the New Testament process! Start privately. If that doesn't work, then bring witnesses or a facilitator. If THAT doesn't work, then a bigger context has to come into play. What this scripture recognizes is the human dimension of Christianity. Discipleship does not guarantee that everyone is going to get along well all the time. There will be disagreements and disputes. The Acts of the Apostles reports an instance involving food distribution, for example. St. Paul had to deal with disputes in the Corinthian community. What one would hope is that discipleship creates a fundamental "good will" that aims at settling any disputes instead of creating entrenched positions that yield to no one - individual nor community. As a pastor, I've had to "make peace" with quarreling factions in a parish. It is not a fun thing for me to do. I'm glad I have a couple of friends who specialize in conflict resolution that I can turn to for advice on occasion. What I pray for is the wisdom to see it coming and head it off before things get nasty! At least I have a suggested process from none other than the Lord himself! AMEN