Word to the Wise
Wednesday, August 12, 2015 - Wednesday in the 19th Week in Ordinary Time
[Deut 34:1-12 and Matt 18:15-20]"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the Church. If he refuses to listen even to the Church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector." [Matthew]
For awhile in the early 1990's, I served in our provincial government as the "second in command" to our provincial superior. Occasionally I would get a phone call from a local superior asking me or the provincial to come and help them deal with a "difficult" friar. My response was usually to say, "You have all the resources you need to deal with him right there!" Inevitably the response to that would be, "He won't listen to us." And I would reply, "Have you tried?" Quite often, they had not because they feared a hostile reaction. This kind of fear has resulted in the worsening of a problem until only separation from the community would suffice.
I have received phone calls from anxious family members (not just my own family) about another member of the family who was "overworking," "drinking or eating too much," "spending beyond means," etc. etc.. My reaction is the same. Have you tried to talk to them about it? The same is true for a parishioner upset or worried about their pastor! I always have in mind the process which Jesus outlines in today's gospel. It is a process that is compassionate but firm. Perhaps some of the Beloved Congregation have participated in an "intervention" to help a family member get attention for an addiction. Compassion and firmness must go together to bring about true mercy where the injuries caused by the addiction are healed as well as the person who was addicted. The process need not always involve an addiction. One would hope that the pattern of conduct would be noticed long before it requires the last step in Jesus' process.
Tough love should be merciful and compassionate as well as firm. This is practical Christianity at its best. The cross of correction is carried by those correcting and those being corrected, but the goal is nothing less than a "resurrection" for disaster. AMEN