Word to the Wise
Wednesday, August 14, 2013 - Wednesday in the 19th Week in Ordinary Time
[Deut 34:1-12 and Matt 18:15-20]If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he will not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the Church. If he refuses to listen even to the Church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or tax collector.
AUGUST 14 ST. MAXIMILIAN KOLBE, ofm.conv. - priest and martyr
I remember well the day in my novitiate when the Novice Master addressed the subject of "fraternal correction." Every one in the class was looking uneasily around the room! No doubt each of us thought one or more of the others was in great need of "fraternal correction!" However, the process described by Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew is fraught with "danger." What happens if the correctee turns the tables right away on the corrector? Most of the time, the "correction" is handled not by direct confrontation but by complaining to the superior, who, at least theoretically, is supposed to then go and "correct" the wayward member of the community! I've been a "conventual prior" [Dominicanese for a superior of a community of at least 6 members] three times now and I know the phenomenon well! Some communities, such as the Amish and Mennonites, try to follow this process and when it is not successful, the penalty is "shunning," which literally isolates a person within the community.
It is not easy to correct with love! The statement, "I'm telling you this for your own good!" has to have a strong context of care behind it to have any chance of success. Even then, the response may be defensive or outright hostile. [Ask any religious superior or parent or spouse!] However, the duty of "fraternal correction" comes from the equally difficult command to forgive. Forgiveness without correction can become an unhealthy toleration. Ask anyone who lives with an alcoholic or someone with another form of addiction.
There are no easy "how to" answers in this. The "what if's" are legion. Some people are more gifted at the process than others. As a superior, I dread the necessity even as I steel myself to do it! Then again, Jesus makes some pretty strong demands and this particular "cross" is one of them! AMEN