Word to the Wise
Monday, November 11, 2013 - Monday in the 32th Week in Ordinary Time
[Wis 1:1-7 and Luke 17:1-6]If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times saying, "I am sorry," you should forgive him.
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2013 ST. MARTIN OF TOURS
Jesus' teaching about forgiveness is hard for many to accept. However, it finds its foundation in The Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." We know that God will forgive us if we repent. Can we forgive someone else in the same way? What if the offender is a "repeat" offender? In the case of God, what if WE are the repeat offenders?
Repetitive abuse is hard to forgive. Anyone who has lived with an abusive person suffers wounds that do not heal easily. Even if the "repeat offender" is not personally abusive, but is still unreliable because of an addiction, there are wounds. Can one believe what the offender says, "I promise I'll never do it again?" I suggest we take Jesus' suggestion about "rebuke" seriously! In the confessional, I occasionally say, "What kind of firm purpose of amendment to you have for this problem?" If it is with something like alcohol or pornography or other addictive behavior, and that person says, "I need to pray more!" I respond that they need to do more than that. They need to address the problem! We must indeed forgive, but we are not required to tolerate abuse.
If God is merciful to us, we must in turn be merciful but we may also be the instrument of true repentance by challenging the repeat offender, and whenever possible removing ourselves from being a target of abuse! Mercy can be tender and tough at the same time. AMEN