Word to the Wise
Wednesday, August 12, 2020 - Wednesday in the 19th Week in Ordinary Time
[Ezek 9:1-7; 10:18-22 and Matt 18:15-20]"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the Church. If he refuses to listen even to the Church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. [Matthew]
I have a book entitled SINCE STRANGLING ISN'T AN OPTION - HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE by Sandra Crowe. The title itself addresses what may be a common feeling in any form of community life from family to religious life to parish life to worksites, etc. etc. - you name it! The gospel scripture today begins with that common feeling and offers a method for resolving the tension! The early Christian community obviously experienced members whose behavior was at odds with the gospel. But that behavior meant the community had to find a way to deal with this behavior in a manner that reflected the compassion preached by Jesus. Those who work in addiction or family counseling might find some of the steps recommended in the gospel today surprisingly "modern!"
It has been my "fate" to serve as a religious superior in a Dominican community several times. There is a tendency in religious communities to look to the superior to take care of "difficult people." Parents are certainly familiar with the complaint, "Mom/Dad! Make ________stop!" On occasion I have responded to the complaining individual, "Have you talked with him yourself about the difficulty?" The response is often, "He/she won't listen to me!" That really doesn't answer the question. The gospel today challenges us to speak first to the person with whom we have a "difficulty!" I am reminded of an amusing (at least to me) anecdote my mother shared with me. My older sister was complaining to my mother about my dad and asked my mother, "Can't you do something about him?" My mother's reply was, "Me? You're closer kin to him than I am!!"
All communities of whatever kind will be challenged to the "compassion of correction." The gospel offers a way forward in this challenge. It is certainly better than strangling! AMEN