Word to the Wise
Friday, August 12, 2022 - Friday in the 19th Week in Ordinary Time
[Ezek 16:1-15, 60, 63 or 16:59-63 and Matt 19:3-12]Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?" He said in reply, "have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate."
Jesus' teaching on marriage and divorce, like, for example, his teaching about the dangers of material wealth and love of enemies, astounded his disciples and continues to challenge us today. The immediate context of the teaching in the Gospel According to Matthew is the interpretation of a provision in Deuteronomy (ch. 24). This presumes divorce is a given. Jesus appeals to a higher law in Genesis that makes divorce unacceptable.
It took nearly 1,000 years before the church adopted the rather juridical theory of the sacrament of Matrimony that sees it as a kind of unbreakable contract. This gave rise to the development of "matrimonial tribunals" to determine if the contract is valid when a person seeks an "annulment." This has become known informally as "Catholic divorce!" In an effort to enforce Jesus' teaching, the Church has considered persons who remarry after a legal divorce (and no church annulment) to be excommunicated!!! Pope Francis, in his document Amoris laetitia, has urged a more compassionate pastoral approach, but the challenge in Jesus' teaching remains. And even Jesus admits that not everyone is able to accept his teaching on this subject.
At least in the USA, the church has developed programs of preparation for marriage that seek to address possible causes of future divorce. The preparation programs are important, but Catholics divorce almost as much as non-Catholics do, statistically. Our secular culture has come to see marriage as a kind of consumer item that has little religious significance. The impact on family life can be terrible. I have served on matrimonial tribunals and I am aware of the personal cost to the parties and the children. A marriage is like combining two kaleidoscopes and praying they can create a common picture!
Jesus' teaching continues to challenge us. Pastoral efforts to prepare must also be accompanied by pastoral efforts to help couples and families to follow that teaching. Punitive measures like excommunication help no one. Good example and loving families are the best witness for the value and strength of sacramental marriage. AMEN