Word to the Wise
Wednesday, August 16, 2023 - Wednesday in the 19th Week in Ordinary Time
[Deut 34:1-12 and Matt 18:15-20]"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the Church. If he refuses to listen even to the Church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector." [Matthew]
I once handed a book to a friend, who was having a hard time dealing with a "difficult" person, entitled: SINCE STRANGLING ISN'T AN OPTION - HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PERSONS. It appears from today's gospel scripture that the problem is ancient. One almost wonders if the author of the Gospel According to Matthew had the apostle in mind, given the fact that the apostle was himself a tax collector!!
Nowadays the process described by Jesus would be called an "intervention." The first step may be the hardest - i.e. speaking one-on-one with the "difficult" person about the problem. I can remember how uncomfortable we Dominican novices felt when our Novice Master gave us a conference on "fraternal correction!" However, the point of the process, at least in this gospel, is to "win over" the person who is alienating others by his or her conduct. A few verses later (Thursday) we learn that forgiveness is part of it all, not simply correction. Earlier in this same gospel, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says: "Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come offer your gift." [Matt. 5:23]
Yes, there are those who delight in "correcting" others, but I suspect they are in the minority. Parents, religious superiors and leaders of all kinds know the challenge of correction. It is not just for "the good of the offending person," but also for the good of the community. In the case of one individual at odds with another, it is a matter of reconciliation. When love and justice join hands, great things can happen. AMEN